I had posted this on facebook but thought I'd share it here as well because you should laugh at cancer once in a while. It was a compilation from the Life Part II party:
To doctor before brain biopsy:
Iram: I’m going to give you a piece of my mind
After brain biopsy:
Neurosurgeon: Well it’s clearly a tumor
Iram: Well rub some dirt in it
Neurosurgeon: blank stare
Doctor: You can’t drink caffeine or have alcohol
Iram: What about rum and coke, don’t they cancel each other out?
After the diagnosis:
Chris Sebilia: The things you’ll do for attention
Todd: Well you’ve proved us wrong, you do have a brain.
David Armstrong: Well we’ve always known there was something wrong with your brain. Now there’s proof.
Al: Rust from lack of use.
Iram: If all this results in Kiana being a neurosurgeon, it’s totally worth it.
Alonso: I’d always wanted a brain like yours…now I’m not so sure.
Kiana's mom: Only the good die young, this can’t kill you.
Anonymous: I don’t pray but I’m praying for you.
Iram: Whoa, don’t be asking strangers for favors.
Various about the marathon training: You inspire me.
Iram: Don’t get inspired to get brain cancer please.
After wada tests during shift exchange as they are looking underneath the cover where I am wearing nothing except a bandage near where they went in at my groin:
Nurse 1: Looks good, doesn’t it?
Nurse 2: Looks very good.
Facebook Status: This could possible affect my sexuality. Members of both genders should be excited.
Dave Street: New Year’s should be good.
David Leon: Were getting a sister!? Hhmm Irma or Mari!?
Cassandra: I always wanted you to be my lesbian lover.
Bernie Lee: so you may finally be attracted to women?
Daniel Bergson: One small battle with cancer and all of a sudden you think you can handle being Little Spoon...
On possibility that this would affect language functions:
Kiana's mom: Could we instill a mute or volume button?
Facebook Status: Just got what I've always wanted: a request to donate my brain to science... though I'll concede this wasn't the reason I'd hoped for.
Egon: Remember to get a receipt for tax deduction purposes
Todd: Did you tell them, except for that pesky little tumor, that most of it is in good condition because its rarely been used?
Bernie: Could you be a drug runner by storing dime bags in that space in your head?
When first speaking with Duke doctor who originally stated they were hoping to buy me 10 years
Iram: Well, everyone dies, I just turned out to be more efficient at it.
To doctor before brain surgery:
Iram: It’s not rocket surgery but into your hands I commend my spirit
When having digestion problems after surgery:
Dre: You’re the only one who complains when shit doesn’t happen.
Facebook Status at long term diagnosis follow up: Looks like I’m going to be in that 12 percent nationwide (18% at Duke) that beats brain cancer:
Egon: Would it kill you just once to go along with the crowd?
Egon: Coming soon in 3D to a theater near you...XMen Origins: J
Egon: Occupy J's Brain
Ram: I imagine all the attention you are getting now will lead you to want to blend in and be normal. Unfortunately J, you never blended in and you were never normal.
Egon (on birthday): The Surgeon General has advised that being 30 can be hazardous to your health; let's see what 31 can do for you!
Todd (about the money people donated for medical bills after results): Can I get a refund?
Lydia (on surgery day): If you haven't already, start sending prayers, good thoughts, positive energy, crazy vibes to who or whatever you send them to. He's got enough fight in him to last ten brain surgeries, but divine intervention would be a nice touch.
Kiana (about her Livestrong anklet which she always wears): I wear this because I'm glad daddy's alive.